A Family Get-Together during Covid-19

At our last Friday night family dinner in March, we never dreamed there would be a Covid-19 lockdown in our city. Or that it would be three months before we would enjoy a meal with our grandkids again.

With many states reopening in the U.S. today, there’s plenty of guidance for how to resume most activities. But there’s little information for grandparents yearning to see their grandkids.

On Sunday, we took the plunge and had our first family get-together since the lockdown.  We assessed the risks, came up with social distancing strategies, created a menu that would be easy to portion, planned ways to entertain the kids outdoors, and evaluated the outcome for future visits.

Assessing the Risk of a Family Get-Together

Each family will have to decide how much risk they are willing to take. In our case, we all have been fairly conscientious about social distancing.

When school opens this fall, the grandkids will no longer be cloistered. Therefore, we decided our best window to see them safely is this summer.

How to hold a family zoom birthday party

Social Distancing Strategies

We mixed scientific guidance with practicality in planning for our first get-together for our family of seven. Some ideas worked; some were less successful.

• We all agreed in advance that indoors would be out-of-bounds. If the kids wanted any toys or books from the playroom, Steve or I would retrieve them. The children, seven and four, adhered to the rule.
• I set two separate tables. The visiting family sat at one table, while Steve, our son who lives with us, and I sat at a second table, more than six feet away, but still in talking range.
• I used regular china plates and stainless flatware that could be sanitized in the dishwasher afterwards.

Planning the Food for a Family Get-Together

• I planned a meal that would be easy to portion and serve, using ingredients I had on hand. On the menu were Japanese rice balls, yakitori (grilled chicken skewers), lumpia (crisp Filipino spring rolls) made by my son, and a simple green bean salad. (Recipe for the yakitori below.)

• Aside from washing my hands thoroughly, I didn’t take additional precautions when preparing the food. Of all of us, I have been the most secluded, except for daily walks (wearing a mask) in the neighborhood.
• We set the food out on separate platters–one set for them, and one for us, so we all weren’t hovering over the same buffet.

Entertaining the Kids Outdoors

Living in a city, we have just a small side yard, so there’s not a lot of room to run and play.

• I bought giant bubble wands. It’s a fun way to interact with the kids while maintaining distance.

• Dessert was designed to be part of the entertainment. I made chocolate ice cream in the ice cream maker so the kids could watch the churning. They were fascinated. In retrospect, I should have covered the open top with plastic wrap and had the children put on their masks.

• Miss T and I had fun with Guess Who?” a board game that can be played together while staying apart.
• When Miss T grew bored, I hauled out an easel, flip chart, and markers from my office and we played a form of Pictionary and then, hangman.
• I brought out crayons and paper for her little brother.
• We also read stories.

Yakitori (Grilled Chicken Skewers)

1/2 cup naturally brewed soy sauce
3 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons sake
2 tablespoons mirin (Japanese sweet cooking sake)
1 small onion, cut in 1-inch wedges
1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut in 1-inch cubes

To make the sauce: In a medium saucepan combine soy sauce, sugar, sake and mirin; bring to a simmer. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until sugar dissolves and sauce is slightly thicker, about 5 minutes.

Separate the onion wedges so you have two layers of onion in every piece. Using 9- or 10-inch bamboo skewers, thread the chicken cubes, alternating with onion pieces between each chicken cube.

Heat grill until hot, place skewers on the grill, turning once, until the chicken is opaque and the juices begin to flow. Dip skewers in sauce or brush on sauce with a pastry brush, and return to the grill. Grill, turning and basting several times, until the chicken is just cooked and the onion begins to char, about 5 minutes. Discard remaining sauce.

Makes about 10 skewers.

Tips:

• Multiply the recipe to fit the size of your crowd.
• Use, wider, flat bamboo skewers to keep the food from twisting on the grill.
• To keep the exposed skewer ends from burning, slide a folded strip of aluminum foil under the skewer ends to protect them from the heat of the grill.
• If desired, serve yakitori with shichimi togarashi, a seven spice red pepper blend, available at Japanese grocery stores or online. There are many brands.

Family Get-Together: Key Learnings

Planning and reality are two different things. You just can’t anticipate and cover all contingencies. By meeting out-of-door, wearing masks, and trying to social distance, we did the best we could.

However, because we are all serious about following the science and being as careful as we can in daily life, our two households might be considered two isolated bubbles that came together to create a social bubble or double bubble, as this practice is being called.

Here’s what I learned:

• It’s hard to keep physically apart from young children, although we refrained from hugging and kissing.
• As we expected, the grandkids just aren’t able to keep their masks on the entire time.
• In retrospect, the type of ice cream maker we have, which opens at the top to pour in the contents, is also open to exposure. What we should have done is cover the top with plastic wrap and have the kids wear their masks as they watched the ice cream churning.
• In future, I would plan ahead for more games or activities for the children so we have options. Next time, I might add an outdoor treasure hunt.

Immunologists tell us that not seeing the grandchildren is still the best way for older people to keep safe. At a certain point, however, most of us find total isolation from the grandkids simply untenable. FaceTime calls, while great, are no replacement for an in-person visit with the family.

Sunday was a beautiful day. We were thrilled to have our whole family together after three months. Steve and I agreed that the joy of a family get-together was worth the risk.

And we would do it again.